What To Do When Customers Are Wearing Ass-Less Pants

Apparently we have just missed San Francisco’s ‘Leather-Fest’ where thousands of fetishists take over a couple of blocks of the trendy Mission district and subject each other to acts of public humiliation and torture in the streets.

Our friend manages a swanky but very friendly cocktail bar in Mission and he says that Leather-Fest throws up some problems for them.

For instance, they have found that their plastic seating is very uncomfortable for customers wearing ass-less pants (meaning trousers, but they don’t wear any pants either). The staff make sure they whisk down a napkin on the chair just before such customers sit down.

A naked bum sticking to a plastic seat in a hot climate is a feeling so bad that even sadomasochists can’t handle it.

You’ve got to be quick with the napkin because a lot of these folks are being ordered to sit down by people with whips.

The bar has a rule concerning the level of nudity that is unacceptable to their establishment. I was actually surprised they even had such a threshold, seeing to the trouble they go to in aiding those customers who have their butts out.

California doesn’t have any public decency laws, so if you are not hurting anyone else or anyone else’s stuff, then go ahead.

It is a very fine place to be.

Tags:
Posted in Outbox | 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “What To Do When Customers Are Wearing Ass-Less Pants”

  1. Wilf says:

    OK I’m setting up a mail order scheme. Who wants some ass-less pants? We have black, tan, or zebra.

  2. Misha says:

    I’ve always wanted some ass-less chaps! Can you please bring me back a pair? I’m a size 10 to 12 uk size.
    I’ll wear them at pick up time. max will be SO chuffed!
    x

  3. Wilf says:

    I knew YOU would. Well you can’t have any!

  4. Annie says:

    I want some photos of said ass-less pants!!